I've got to get me outta here

let's make my bed a playgroud when you're lying next to me

2008-11-12T12:39:40Z

morning sweet sweet world

i dreamt that i was looking for kate winslet porn last night; then i dreamt that devin's friend's school was bombed and then i rode around with my brother and cousin? maybe my dad? are my silly dream remembrances annoying or endearing?

i had a high fever last night and almost had a panic attack, but instead i read my terry pratchett and thought my happy soothing thoughts and fell asleep at 10:30PM. i'm trying to do my astronomy notes now as well as keep myself quiet (devin is still asleep). today's things:

breakfast with jadda and devin
calculus with jadda and lauren and suzy
lunch with devin emily kelsey jadda
meeting with dr. depree so that i can take scientific computing without the prereq
meeting with dr. minot so i can change my research paper topic
radical education
work
paper

if you live in the atlanta area and haven't visited me yet, uh oh for you.

your mama doesn't like me, she thinks i'm a sorry man

2008-10-24T15:17:19Z

i can't help feeling a motherly sort of tender feeling for agnes during rainstorms. the trees and grassy patches and benches and buildings yearn for that rainy campus look. sometimes it feels like the entire campus is working to stay dry in spite of itself.

devin and i always debate about bringing an umbrella in the mornings to breakfast. the conversation today went something like:

p: dude, i had a terrifying dream last night! only it turns out it was just the thunderstorm waking me up. ..then i realized i was in the dorm room and i wasn't scared!!
d: hahaha, faggot.
p: whatever! wanna grab an umbrella?
d: uh no
p: i am!

that doesn't paint an accurate enough picture of our relationship; we're roomsoulmates.

i missed a lot of work this week recovering from my panicky moments. katie (my boss) greeted me today by announcing that, if i wanted it, she'd buy me yoga classes for christmas. i accepted, obv. now i have to maker her a really supery dupery great card. note: my coworker and bff taylor prescott also misses work frequently, so she will be offered yoga-y times as well. she'll accept!

i'm in the library "working" but the agnes spreadsheet application called Datatel isn't working. instead i'm staring affectionately out the window; i like seeming thoughtful.

palin won? doubtfuckingful

2008-10-03T03:18:26Z

in other news

beer beer beer for old agnes scott! you bring the whiskey i'll bring the scotch! send a sophomore out for gin and don't let a sober senior in. we never stumble, we never fall (much!). we sober up on a grain alcohol. when we yell, we YELL LIKE HELL for the glory of agnes scott.

also

rum and rum and rum and rum and rum and rum and coke, it isn't called a coke and rum, it's called a rum and coke. so put the captain in my glass and don't think its a joke. it isn't called a coke and rum, its called a rum and coke.

its like i need an emotional outlet again

2008-09-27T14:28:04Z

livejournal, you're so dependable. i've been professionally jaded by your tidy applet over the course of my development. maybe we should get married.

you'd enter the relationship without any false pretenses, and you'd lovingly remind me that you did, in fact, want to stay with me forever. think of the possibilities! our babies would be the cutest things.

:( i hope someone still reads this! alina?!

;)

2008-09-01T15:44:39Z

;)

ode to david

2008-08-16T21:10:45Z

oh david

your hair flows with the wind of four thousand sea gulls.

yours

presence

happy birthday to me

2008-06-10T17:08:13Z

Presence O'Neal: part of me is like "yay. a cake. lots of attention on facebook from people who never talk to me any other time" and another part is like "get so drunk that you can't remember how old you are"
Jamey McDermott: yeah, well
Jamey McDermott: it is actually possible to have it both ways, just not necessarily at the same time
Jamey McDermott: have your cake and get wasted, too. to bastardize a figure of speech that has always annoyed the hell out of me

we'll have bizarre celebrations

2008-06-05T05:01:18Z

Presence O'Neal: wanna hang out now?
Paxton Thorn: Okay! Park?
Presence O'Neal: ok!
Paxton Thorn: Wait are you sure?
Paxton Thorn: This is a commitment.
Presence O'Neal: i hope you die on the way over here.
Paxton Thorn: Then you'll have to keep being bored and lonely.

i like him too!

and i like hanging out. and i like not being miserable!

t-rex dream

2008-05-23T10:42:22Z

i have a reoccuring dream about a t-rex attacking the suburbs near my house.

mica, eric, my mom, and i all fight to stay alive during a t-rex attack. just one t-rex so far as my dream has ever revealed.

it starts out by mica knocking on the door to my house. mom, eric and i wake up and then alert the neighbors when he tells us that there was news of a t-rex on the news. (we live in an old folks village, for some reason)

it comes to the door so we tell everyone to hide, mica and i go up and it chases us to a giant super computer. it bursts its head through the giant screen and then stops moving. he and i are at the keyboard and the t-rex's feet are hiding underneath two of the keys. we look for them. i hit the "g" key and mica screams "ITS SMILING" so suddenly its feet break free and run after us.

we get into susanne's (she's not in the dream, just her car) car and take two envelopes full of money by my mom and eric. they are in my car getting ready to flee. i assure mica and my mom by saying "don't worry, i've had this dream before. this will work". so we drive by the t-rex and the people who're after us (suddenly people are after us too) and we throw beaucoup money at them. the people are pleased but the t-rex doesnt care. he chases our car. then i press a button and our car turns into a hovercraft. we float around until the gas runs out and the t-rex is there. but now he has a person-suit on in order to chase/eat us more efficiently.

he chases us back to our subdivision where we enter our neighbors house and tell her to run. she does, and we hide. the man comes to the door but can't see us so he leaves. then we go out side and i rip his fake-human face off. once he is a t-rex again i distract him with a flare and run in the other direction. at this point i am terrified and positive that he's going to eat me, so i struggle to force myself out of the dream. i wake up and my eyes want to close again, but i keep them open.

2 seconds later, my alarm goes off.

this isn't grammatically correct and the syntax is atrocious. whatever! i'll probably re-touch this later but i wanted to write it all down before i forgot it.

i wrote down what i couldn't say!

2008-04-18T20:00:13Z

hey ya'll

i'm pleased with how i'm operating my life.
i have a car today! about damn time. now i can drive wherever i want to!
seeing the cobb symphony rehearse tonight, very excited.
also dr. lynch wants me to spend time with greg and him at GSU's official observatory.

should I: live at home and commute to GSU (for pretty much free)
live in the dorms at GSU (for $4,000 a semester) or
live in an apartment complex with andy ($700 per month)

i'm interested to see your opinions, folks.

its difficult to write gripping entries when i have no real qualms. it is bothersome to miss someone who is only happy to have rid themselves of you. : \

oh bother.

Happy April First

2008-04-01T21:16:55Z

Gray Lindsey: happy april fools day!
Presence O'Neal: you too
Presence O'Neal: oh fuck
Presence O'Neal: thomas called to tell me that the field trip for tomorrow got cancelled.
Presence O'Neal: mrs. nichols doing, if you ask me.
Gray Lindsey: damn it
Presence O'Neal: APRIL FOOLS!
Gray Lindsey: presence, i..i...
Presence O'Neal: i figured you'd get it because you JUST wished me a happy april fools
Presence O'Neal: haha
Gray Lindsey: yeah, i kind of was expecting something like that..but..uh
Gray Lindsey: i was..
Gray Lindsey: just joking too
Gray Lindsey: you know how it is
Presence O'Neal: uh huh SURE
Gray Lindsey: mmm..this is some good steak i'm eating
Presence O'Neal: you arent eating steak!
Gray Lindsey: goddamn it presence
Presence O'Neal: ; )
Gray Lindsey: i actually am eating some left over pizza though
Presence O'Neal: i guess i have no choice but to believe you. everyone knows that you only have one chance to april fools someone anyway
Gray Lindsey: well, i wasn't..it's cheese pizza
Gray Lindsey: APRIL FOOLS...it's pepperoni pizza..(but i took the pepperonis off..so...hm)

dinosaurr

2008-03-17T14:19:36Z

i'm back again, world. my mortal coil still intact, and i bathe daily in liquid happiness.

i want to write paragraphs about whats new and cool. but mostly i've got nothing. i've narrowed my friend group to a harrowing handful, and i spend time with the ones who captivate me. i won't list, i think. none of them read this. I KNOW YOU'RE HEARTBROKEN, ALINA/SOPHIA/GARY.

things i'd like to do before May 1, 2008:
- fernbank museum and planetarium
- the high museum (georgia o'keefe exhibit specifically)
- poetry night at the java monkey
- dinner at watershed
- shakespeare tavern (of mice and men?)

things i'd like to do before September 1, 2008:
- camping (you know, with a tent)
- go fishing, maybe catch a fish
- visit two cities i rarely frequent
- try new foods, visit new places, new new new new. you know. asdfjsafasdfkjsda;jt

really.

ps. prom was fun. i like people named david.

she didn't sign her name, she gave an autograph!

2008-03-11T13:17:02Z

prom is fast approaching, and i am on the verge of being entirely prepared! (dress, checkish. makeup plans, check. hair, checkish. date, check.)

i found out recently that kristin wade is nominated for prom queen. ..listen, i understand that her friends miss her but christ. she's dead, guys. and i'd really like to have a living prom queen. : \

i need to find a job, i'm well-equipped! i'm just lazy as hell. i spend all of my time lounging around. motivate me, friends of mine. otherwise i need to decide where i want to go to school and where i want to live. AND with whom i want to live. jesus.

i'm presence and i'm living.

its been a while since a px2n post

2008-02-22T18:12:17Z

the sound of our voices made us forget everything that had ever hurt our feelings!

mashedpoetatoe (1:04:25 PM): im up shit creek
Then Paxton goes (1:04:58 PM): Oh well
Then Paxton goes (1:04:59 PM): You'll survive
mashedpoetatoe (1:05:18 PM): you're right. : )
mashedpoetatoe (1:05:29 PM): you'd be EXTRA right if you were bringing me ritz
Then Paxton goes (1:06:32 PM): I know!
mashedpoetatoe (1:07:40 PM): PLEASE!
Then Paxton goes (1:07:54 PM): NO
Then Paxton goes (1:07:58 PM): I HAVE TO GO TO WORK IN LKIE 5 MINUTES
mashedpoetatoe (1:08:02 PM): fine
Then Paxton goes (1:08:07 PM): I KNOW
mashedpoetatoe (1:08:16 PM): buttface
Then Paxton goes (1:08:22 PM): Am not.
mashedpoetatoe (1:08:33 PM): are too times infinity
Then Paxton goes (1:10:03 PM): ouch
Then Paxton goes (1:10:07 PM): I have to go eat
Then Paxton goes (1:10:08 PM): Ritz
Then Paxton goes (1:10:10 PM): And go to work
mashedpoetatoe (1:10:13 PM): I HATE YOU SO MUCH BYE.
Then Paxton goes (1:10:19 PM): I love you! Bye!

blast from the past?

2008-02-20T23:23:32Z

"for i am eternally lost. and i love everything. and someday i think i will find someone to love everything with me. but they have to listen to jewel. and they can't mind that i wear socks all the time or that i feel the need to make cheesy sentimental comments every so often to keep all parties aware of my feelings. oh, and they have to be okay with the fact that i rarely match. because i need to feel accepted with my future everything lover."

i know what i want sometimes. i am infinity.

without losing our minds!

2008-02-13T12:32:19Z

I want to build lasting relationships on things that I understand to be genuine connectivity. Hear that best friends of mine? Suddenly you're accountable for more than just talking about me behind my back and then apologizing for it later.

I'm bossy and annoyingly sarcastic and i talk way too much and sometimes i get carried away with ideas. selfishness isn't something i'm going to take credit for as a negative trait. i am empathetic to your plight, friends of mine, and don't worry! i'm not hurt by the fact that you have taken four years to tell me that you wish i didn't hang around so often. i'll save us both the list of my redeeming characteristics (it's pages long, dontcha know!) because i'd hate for my ego to bombard you in your personal space. i know there isn't a lot of room in ridiculous-pent-up-angersville. you need the precious space that you have left after all of the emotional baggage you've got to find room for.

i only wish you'd have been more open with me sooner so that i could have made it a priority to forget you.

ahh, livejournal. i wont take this all out on you. you're mostly useful. i'm terrified to sleep alone in my bed most nights because of thomas' scary movie habit. i'm applying for college. and loans. i'm flirting with the idea that college wont be so different after all. not in the ways i want, anyway. here's to solving my problems instead of running from them.

i've got things to do before i leave mama, you know.

I set the VCR to record, rewind and fast-forward. I cut out all the bad parts. I don't wanna watch anything that hurts.

life, the universe, and everything

2008-02-04T22:50:05Z

i will be expressive and grandiose so help me god

just so you all know paxton is my only friend

2008-01-05T03:50:45Z

Then Paxton goes (10:42:58 PM): HOLY CHRIST MY VIDEO CARD IS SO COOL
mashedpoetatoe (10:43:17 PM): how is it different, nerdy mcnerdnerd?
Then Paxton goes (10:43:24 PM): I don't know I haven't hooked it up yet
Then Paxton goes (10:43:28 PM): It looks like
Then Paxton goes (10:43:28 PM): Fucking
Then Paxton goes (10:43:31 PM): I don 't know
mashedpoetatoe (10:43:42 PM): what does that even mean? how COOL does it look!
Then Paxton goes (10:44:01 PM): http://www.pctuning.cz/ilustrace3/Teuzz/gpu7/MSI_GeForce_7900GTO_1.jpg
mashedpoetatoe (10:44:51 PM): look, that looks identical to your old one
Then Paxton goes (10:45:01 PM): ..
mashedpoetatoe (10:45:08 PM): haha, ok you caught me
mashedpoetatoe (10:45:11 PM): i forgot what your old one looks like
Then Paxton goes (10:45:14 PM): http://img.ncix.com/gif/22581.jpg
mashedpoetatoe (10:45:33 PM): wtf yours was a pussy video card
Then Paxton goes (10:45:50 PM): I know
Then Paxton goes (10:45:54 PM): It was great when it first came out though
Then Paxton goes (10:45:58 PM): First hdr capable card evar
mashedpoetatoe (10:46:16 PM): hdr?
Then Paxton goes (10:46:26 PM): High dynamic range lighting
Then Paxton goes (10:47:13 PM): Okay time to install this bad boy
mashedpoetatoe (10:47:58 PM): yesss

also, WTF. thanks sophia and alina (SOMETIMES) for providing me with reading material ljwise. for now, i leave you with my px2n conversations.

thazzit

i took the polaroid down in my room, i'm pretty sure you have a new girlfriend

2008-01-02T18:22:05Z

i'm in the middle of a hobby-revolution. i've got crafty things to do left and right; these things are time consuming but rewarding. WISH I'D ACTUALLY GET STARTED ON A PROJECT. i could start sewing a coin purse from the DIY book I bought. I want to work my way up to this INSANELY cute jacket in the "difficult" section. OR OR OR i could catch up on my journal. i let that shit go. : (

New Years Eve was one of big-city-hive-mind-masses, birth-canalesque staircases, forces, mass, gravitational pull too, i guess. Forehead midnight kisses and laced fingers embody my first moments of 2008. Ta da! I spent the evening with Mica and Andy. We ate at California Pizza Kitchen and then made our way to Underground to watch the peach drop. Andy kicked ass and blazed a trail for us to the front of the crowd. Mica was raped, I shared in the midnight kiss of a cute black couple, Andy grew a pair. Then to Emily's for the night where I got zero sleep.

I'm having family problems, but I've never felt so loved. (cue awwww) A friend of the family (Paula) is visiting from Hawaii and she came over yesterday to sit with me and talk. She works as a psychologist for recovering drug addicts in a hospital in Maui. We spoke for hours and she helped me connect with myself on a level I didn't think I could reach. The tiniest things make tears well up in my eyes, but afterward i feel cleansed and level-headed.

"if i stay in one place, i lose my mind."

attention

2007-12-28T05:50:07Z

i just made chocolate milk with hershey's syrup and good old publix 2%. it was the most delicious thing i've had in weeks.

that is all

time to rock 'n roll

2007-12-27T04:25:51Z

I'm updating you, LJ, from my BRAND SPANKING NEW MACBOOK PRO. omhggskdjfsa i feel like "squee" might be the correct term to use right now but i can't bring myself to do it. either way, we know where i stand.

haul this year:
sweater from the limited (same type gift i've received from my aunt stephanie since I can remember. she's young and stylish)
necklace from the limited (see above)
sewing machine (singer simple model 6119)
sewing tools
sewing box (really adorable, orange brown and yellow.)
MACBOOK AWESO-..PRO
two new pairs of shoes (uncle charlie loves me and i love shoes)
crochet scarf
sassy necklace
sakldfja

its been a fabulous christmas. not only because i'm on the brink of personal computing technology, but also i really loved spending time in Greensboro with my family. UNTIL RIGHT NOW. we were supposed to leave today at 11 in the AM. After arguing with my mom for an hour, I merged onto the highway while she slept in the back seat. Twenty minutes later! BAM! car stops accelerating. we wait for two hours and a tow truck comes. WE LEARN THAT THE CAR WONT BE READY UNTIL THURSDAY AFTERNOON. so fuck.

good afternoon greensboro nc. hope to see YOU soon marietta ga.

so you, lj readers, best friends 4 life? TELL ME ABOUT YOURS. new years plans, can I come?

p.s. i'm watching futurama. ...stfu, its worth mentioning.

luv

2007-12-19T04:36:10Z

Paxton Thorn: I want to see Juno so bad
Presence O'Neal: me too
Presence O'Neal: because you want to fuck michael cera, right?
Paxton Thorn: Because I can already tell it might be my favorite movie of all time
Presence O'Neal: ..oh
Paxton Thorn: Because I want to fuck Michael Cera.
Presence O'Neal: YES!

welcome to soresville, population: presence.

2007-12-17T21:06:37Z

some bitch at work puts the toilet paper on the wall the wrong way EVERY FUCKING WEEK. so today instead of fixing it i left a sticky note that says "THIS IS WRONG. TRY AGAIN." we'll see how that goes over.

i'm so ready for this break!

Go into your archives and copy the first line of the first entry for every month: 2007

2007-12-14T03:50:43Z

TADA:

January: Its bizarre when you remember that 2006 only started 1 year ago.
February: We had to write on a Code Hero prompt in Lit this week.
March: west side walk it o-out.
April: A Walk to Remember came on late last night.
May: do people read LJ anymore?
June: is hot.
July: i'm happy.
August: k. OK. OKOKOKOKOK. I don't work next week what's that? the sound of my friends flocking to be by my side?
September: i really love things. and i really hate things
October: i didn't realize the time to apply for college was..now.
November: holy shit lj. i really still care about you.
December: always hesitate a little before i use the word "panties".

asldkjflsaf!

h8

2007-12-10T19:42:19Z

Presence O'Neal: i hate you
Paxton Thorn: No you're just jealous of me
Paxton Thorn: It's hard to differentiate sometimes